Some of the issues
I can work with
It’s during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light
Aristotle
Building Self Esteem
Boost your Self Esteem
When you have strong self esteem, you recognise your own talents, value and worth. You believe in yourself and don't need to rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself, because you can do that for yourself.
You are able to speak up for yourself and don't tolerate mistreatment from others as you instinctively know you deserve to be treated better.
A good healthy level of self esteem is especially important in your relationship dynamics so you can put strong, healthy boundaries in place and are equipped to stand up for yourself in a calm, assertive, measured manner against disrespectful and abusive behaviour.
Do you constantly worry what people might think about you?
Does the inconsiderate behaviour of others heavily knock you?
Do you compare yourself negatively to others?
Do you judge yourself harshly and easily put yourself down ?
Do you tend to blame yourself when things go wrong ?
Do you forgive too easily?
Do you struggle to speak up for yourself and your needs ?
Do you tolerate mistreatment from others?
Do you over give in your friendships or relationships ?
Are you a people pleaser, putting other peoples' needs first, at the expense of your own?
These are all traits and behaviours that make life so much harder to navigate. But by working on building your self esteem and self worth you can change it. Please get in touch if you would like to explore this further.
"Once she believed in herself and recognised her worth, then everything changed."
Believe in yourself
The most important words you will ever hear are the words you say about yourself and believe
Anxiety
Feel calmer and safer
Anxious thoughts and beliefs are hard to control and they manifest physically in your body making it even harder. We feel anxiety. You just can't ignore it. You can feel on edge, your body tenses, your throat tightens, your heart pounds, you can get hot and sweaty, you might feel sick and dizzy. It can even develop into a full blown panic attack. Over time anxiety can have a debilitating effect on the quality of your life, leaving you permanently hyper vigilant, and can close your world down as you try to control it.
Do you feel self conscious around people, and feel like you are being watched ?
Do you struggle to make eye contact when speaking to others?
Do you fear being criticised or judged ?
Are you easily overwhelmed, feel frequently stressed and struggle to cope?
Are you constantly feeling on edge, hypervigilant, worrying about potential dangers ?
Do you feel restless, unable to sit still, need to constantly be on the go or struggle to sleep?
Have you stopped doing things that you used to find fun. Isolating yourself away?
Do you suffer from tight muscles, aches and pains?
Do you have difficulty concentrating or making decisions ?
Are you suffering from panic attacks and have a feeling of impending doom ?
These are all symptoms of anxiety that can massively impact the quality of your life. But you can reverse it.
Working with me I can:
-
Equip you with effective tools to help calm anxiety, and panic back down.
-
Give you techniques to start building feelings of safety back into your body.
-
Coaching to help you understand what is actually going on.
-
Therapy to help you work towards understanding what is causing the anxiety so you can work on root cause resolution and free yourself of it.
"The thing you fear has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. "
Oprah Winfrey
PANIC ATTACKS
Something happened in your past that your brain is fearful will happen again in the future.
Your brain and body are trying to keep you safe, albeit, in an unhelpful way.
When you identify and process what that memory is, the panic attacks won't show up anymore.
Relationship Issues
The most important relationship we need is the relationship we have with ourselves. Always remember to love yourself first.
Love Yourself First & Be Free from Unhealthy Relationships
Are you feeling something isn't quite right in your relationship ?
Do you tolerate behaviour far less than you deserve ?
Do you feel emotionally unsupported, unseen and unheard?
Are you always putting your partner's needs first ?
Are you grieving another relationship that hasn't worked out despite your best attempts?
Do you constantly end up in an unhealthy relationship or avoid relationships altogether; but would dearly love one ?
Are you the one always putting in the effort, without getting much in return ?
If you notice there is a pattern perhaps it is time to take a deeper look at what is going on.
Often women have been programmed to believe they need to find their Prince Charming to complete them. But that's just not true. The most important relationship we need is the relationship we have with ourselves. When you work on growing your self awareness to understand why you make the relationship choices you do and build your self love to create a loving relationship with yourself, this will enable you to only attract and accept a healthy loving relationship with a partner who is deserving of you. It all starts first with you.
If you would like to understand and free yourself from relationship patterns that no longer serve you, then please get in touch. Together we will explore what is lying at the heart of your relationship habits, so you can break the cycle, and create a happier, more fulfilling, healthier, love filled life for yourself.
"You don't find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man worthy of you".
Anonymous
You don't find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man worthy of you.
Annonymous
When someone Emotionally or Psychologically Abuses
you it is a reflection of them and their issues. It has nothing to do with you or your value or worth.
Psychological and Emotional Abuse Recovery
"Ships don't sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down."
Anonymous
"Just because a person doesn't put their hands on you, that doesn't mean they aren't being abusive. Abuse is control, blatant disrespect and also hurtful demeaning words. Don't settle for emotional abuse thinking it's ok because it's not physical."
Tony Gaskins
Are you tolerating hurtful unhealthy behaviour that leaves you feeling demeaned, devalued, belittled or worthless on a regular basis?
Have you noticed you have lost your confidence. That you aren't the same person you once where?
Have you been isolated from your family and friends ?
Are you caught in a cycle with someone who offers kindness and affection one moment, followed by neglect and malice the next ?
Are you feeling confused. Not quite sure what is going on. Don't know who to trust. Blaming yourself, feeling guilty. Thinking you are the problem and wishing that somehow you were better?
Do you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells around someone? Working really hard to avoid them getting angry because you are scared of the repercussions for you?
Are you being made the scapegoat. Told that everything that goes wrong is your fault. Being blamed and accused of things that you haven't done, or aren't even true ?
Are you being gaslighted and made to doubt your perception of reality. Told that you are delusional, imaging things. That you are the problem, the emotionally unstable one, that needs help?
These are just some of the symptoms women being emotionally or psychologically abused can deal with on a daily basis.
To make matters worse Emotional and Psychological Abuse can be covertly done, hidden out of sight from others so people struggle to believe you when you call it out; after all abusers don't abuse everyone, just their chosen target. They can appear very charming to others.
Long term Emotional and Psychological Abuse doesn't leave physical marks or bruises, it dysregulates your nervous system and leaves deep emotional wounds that cause you to form harmful misinterpreted beliefs about yourself, that slowly chip your inner confidence and self worth away and causes you to doubt your ability to trust yourself and the choices you make.
The impact on you isn't immediately obvious. You slowly start to notice you haven't got the same confidence you once had, you become increasingly more anxious and withdrawn; you may be suffering from panic attacks or spiralling physical health conditions; you may get more easily overwhelmed and adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms to help you survive; all whilst believing that somehow everything is all your fault.
Counselling, Trauma Informed Therapy and Coaching, Positive Mindset Coaching and RTT can help you rebuild and heal.
Although you can't control how others choose to treat you or behave towards you, you can learn how to change and minimise their impact on you.
-
You can rebuild your inner confidence, self esteem and self worth.
-
Teach your nervous system to feel calm and safe again.
-
Learn techniques to respond differently to an abuser's behaviour so they can't trigger you.
-
Take the time to explore relationships and events from your past, that could have made you vulnerable to abusive behaviour, so you can protect yourself from future abuse and feel safer trusting your choices again.
That is where your power lies.
When someone treats you badly remember it is a reflection of them and their issues, it has nothing to do with you or your value or worth. There is something wrong with them not you. Healthy people don’t go around trying to hurt and harm others.
If you are looking to recover from Emotional or Psychological Abuse then please contact me to see how I can support you in your recovery journey.
I have had extensive training and am a certified Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach.
My goal will be to help you feel safe, believed, valued, heard and understood so you can make sense of what has happened; heal, rebuild, and rise emotionally stronger so you can move on and live the safe, happy, fulfilling, peaceful, loving, life you deserve.
When you have strong self esteem, you recognise your own talents, value and worth. You don't need to rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself, because you can do that for yourself.
